she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
