It's Friday. Sex?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
