Jerry, you need to find god
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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