the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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