If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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