Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
