What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This house was built for laser tag.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
