And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
two words...techno handjob
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
