and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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