she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
