one might say we're banned from that church
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
