she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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