I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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