The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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