I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
