i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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