I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
