she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just want nice things and good sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
