I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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