I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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