i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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