i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
