did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
