Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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