And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
