I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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