I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
