Redeem this text for a blowjob
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
