Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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