I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
