She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it glows. i had to have it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
