my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
