Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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