how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize