What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
