do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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