well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
