i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
