apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
