how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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