I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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