Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
