You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
