She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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