I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize