worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
