I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
