Reggie can tackle my bush.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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