It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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