i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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