apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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