This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
