I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My balls are so social today.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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