According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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