Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
