i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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