I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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