I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
