508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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