It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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