Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
