That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
